Welcome to the world of Constant Countdowns
By Colin Morris, Certified Life Coach, Loved and Launched
Hey new Launcher Mom, I would like to welcome you to the World of Constant Countdowns. Fair warning: starting at the end of Junior year, you and your launcher will arrive in this mystical, Steven-King-carnival-type place where every activity is accompanied by a ticking clock.
Lurking around every corner is a countdown. No sooner is one countdown finished than the next pops out. It starts with the countdown to the beginning of senior year-- your kid's last, first day. Sigh. Then there is the countdown to the last performance or sports season, then the countdown to the last Christmas, the last Spring Break; countdown to graduation, countdown to college drop off or moving out or the next, new thing. Whew.
You might think that would be the end of countdowns, but it turns out this season of launching is relentless, and it continues to be all about something ending and something else beginning, even after high school. Countdown to moving out, countdown to classes starting, countdown to finals, countdown to moving into a new apartment, countdown to a new job, countdown to coming home from school, countdown to going back to school.
Countdown. To. Every. Single. Thing
So I took a minute to ponder why all these countdowns were getting to me. I’m the type who likes a heads-up. I would prefer some advance notice, thank you very much. So, why does this World of Constant Countdowns exhaust me? Why don’t the countdowns feel like a help?
Turns out, it wasn’t so much the countdowns that were grating on my nerves, it was what they represented…looming, constant CHANGE. Here comes a change, and before you can catch your breath, here comes another one and don’t blink because the next one is right behind it. It's as if I am living my own version of that TV show, Wipe Out (the one hosted by John Cena) where no sooner have I jumped over one staggeringly large obstacle than the next one shoots out from the side and hits me in the gut.
I figured out that change doesn’t always bother me. In fact, I usually welcome certain types of change (read: change I feel like I can control). But all these countdowns signaling all this particular kind of change feels very much out of my control. And that makes me uncomfortable. These aren’t changes that I am choosing. These are changes that are being forced on me by the march of time or other people’s choices instead of changes I have hand-picked (like my new backsplash in the kitchen--Loving that change!).
So what’s a Launcher Mom like me (or you) to do? This season of “countdown to change” is unrelenting. This change train is pulling out of the station, and like it or not, I am on board. First, I can start with simple honesty. I can be honest with myself (and those I love) that watching things change around me feels risky and unpredictable at times. I can try to slow down my pace of life long enough to check in and be honest about my discomfort. This honesty might prevent me from using my own agitation as an excuse to be snappy or short or grumpy with the people I love. Or at least allow me to apologize faster when I do.
What about you? How do countdowns feel to you, my fellow Launcher Mom? Does each countdown feel like a sad reminder that the good stuff from this current season is coming to a close? Or do you get excited about change? Does it feel fresh and new and full of possibilities? Do you eagerly count down to the next new adventure?
There’s no right or wrong. We are all wired uniquely and beautifully. I think it helps to acknowledge how I am wired and maybe it helps you too. Embrace your lovable, quirky self, and I will do the same. I am sure we can come up with a countdown for that.
